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Rock n Roll Rooster

by The Songs of Tom Smith

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1.
Rock n Roll Rooster 02:48
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When I spy a girl in the crowd I point her out to a roadie Each backstage pass that gets me laid scores him a handsome bonus CHORUS 1 Yeah I’m the rock n roll rooster Marking out my turf When I strut my stuff High up on my perch 3000 women in my photo albums, hotel keys are labelled Just a tourist in the rock n roll zone cataloguing my trail CHORUS 1 We made a pact to never shower or even take a sponge One poor groupie couldn’t bear the smell and threw up on my junk Bridge 200 grand/ in damages, they couldn’t make me budge Carried out on an army stretcher, tranquilised by a gun CHORUS 1 CHORUS 2 Hey I’m the rock n roll rooster You can hear me crow See the chicks all getting down “ Ready for the show
2.
Best Known Groupie in Town 03:52
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Lawdy Mama Steppenwolf wowed the crowd It’s a song about girls who don’t put out I decided then and there that would never be me I’d rather be a tart than a temptress-tease Want a backstage pass for 3 Dog night I’ll blow the whole crew, just form a line Refuse to swallow? You can take that stand You’ll be sitting in the crowd while I’m hanging with the band CHORUS My name’s in the phone book Rock/stars know where to look For the best known groupie in/town Rock stars look me up and down Difference is tonight you’ll climb into a Pinto Head out on the highway to a Motel 6 Pick a 6-pack up just for a change Spend the night with a total stranger But in a Bentley I’ll be chauffer driven Swept away to the Carlton Ritz Drink champagne, eat caviar Spend the night with a star CHORUS Keith and Roger in another fight Roger flipped the table, started to cry Lighten the mood Keith’s a charmer I let him fuck me with a banana Banned as a teacher, ostracised Everywhere I go I’m recognised Join me at the concert but don’t bother waiting I’ll be back on the bus entertaining CH x 2
3.
Is That Your Face on the Poster? 03:20
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The lead guitarist would make a scene, couldn’t get his guitar in key Grabbed it said I’d sort it out, had a smoke walked around Gave it back never touched the pegs, same every night again and again. It’s nice to be made a fuss of Support band crew jump up and down in a tiny bit of space we set up around them You can lug our gear leave our settings, don’t dare touch the mixing desk And if we spare you a spotting light when you start late don’t go over time It’s nice to be made a fuss of CHORUS Is that your face on the poster? Is that your name up in lights? Who’s here to headline the show? And who’s just filling in time? It’s nice to be made a fuss of CHORUS Gaffa the drummer to his stall, make sure he don’t fall off For the singer a sidestage bucket just in case he needs to chunder A mattress behind the keyboardist spot for every time he nodded off It’s nice to be made a fuss off Sashimi prawns only for the singer, bands allowed leftovers when he’s finished Your donut isn’t big enough? You want a seat on the plane up the front? When soundcheck gets put on hold, you can go down the shop for a chicko roll It’s nice to be made a fuss off
4.
I Might Not Be A Rock Star 05:21
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Security wants to know what I’m doing here Hanging round without a backstage pass Just cos we’re not in the big top, the circus is in town A crystal ball tells me I’m in luck. They send a camera round to get footage of all the girls Parade them for the band going past I’m always one of the few chosen for the party I just wink and give a knowing glance CHORUS Who do I think I am, I might not be a rock star I might not be a rock star, I’ll be with one tonight He picked up his guitar so he could get the girl Might not be a star, I’ll be with one tonight I pick the least popular, make him feel special With the rest of the band in my sights I had all the guys in the band, the bass player misses out I’m not a horse and we’re not taking rides I doubt I’d even go down on my favourite British rocker Hygiene was never their strongest mark A little bit of tact and they can’t believe their luck Invited them all in to share a bath CHORUS Verse solo I’d work my way through the band but draw the line at crew Sorry boys it’s not a tough decision Won’t shake my idol’s hand with the same hand that jerked off Some lighting guy or drum technician They took me on the tour bus but Robert was ignoring me When Jimmy finished spilling his truth I wiped myself up with Robert’s favourite scarf He wore next day on every interview CHORUS
5.
Old School Roadie 03:37
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We call the worksheet the book of lies Distance can be deceiving Dartboard tours Cairns to Bunbury Everywhere in between Rolled a hire car Northern Territory Only meant for city usage Drove it back in 2 days Pranged it again for insurance Pre CHORUS Carry round a manual what’s the point? Do lines off the cover, roll a joint. CHORUS Work all day drive all night Steep staircase load in Unreasonable demands it’s my pleasure I’m an old school roadie Remind the singer not to smoke in the lobby Slapped me then he punched me I turned off the monitor at his request So he could call me a fuckwit Untangling chords he’s messed up Fixing the amp he’d blown He kicked and spat at me on stage All just part of the show Pre CHORUS CHORUS Go to bed straight after the gig? Yeah try winding down and stopping People jump and scream at your desk Minutes before you knock off Drove the Nullabor on my own Feet on the dashboard ledge Put a brick on the accelerator Smoked a joint at sunset Pre CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS 2 Work all day drive all night I’m an old school roadie 6 inch nail so the fuse won’t blow This is the life I’ve chosen
6.
Rock Around the Cock 03:16
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In the 50s and 60s we were screaming girls Your only fans Together we pushed the boundaries Rock n Roll gave us a chance Humping the mic stand by the 70s Guitar slung below your waist An improbable bulge in your leather pants Thrust into my face CHORUS Rock around the cock, it’s a ticking time bomb Spoilt white boys get what they want Rock around the cock, it’s a ticking time bomb Rock around the cock or chop it off “ Was I even legal tender You spent me just the same Boys in the crowd followed your lead How could I feel safe Rebel against your father’s crew cut But reinforce his beliefs Perm your hair long at my salon Then ignore me til you need me CHORUS When we formed an all women band Everyone said that’s cute Male critics wrote us off Bitch and slut and floozy If the only place for your torpedo Is between my thighs I can stroke my strap on, strut and leer Then chop it with a shiny knife
7.
In Bed with a Legend 04:32
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The lead singer invited me to join a tour bus trip From a deep sleep I am roused Reached to touch his flowing hair when I realised it was short He told his roadie he would share me around CHORUS In bed with the legend, in love for a day To get what I want, another rocker’s on his way In bed with the legend, their manager or roadie You get what you want and it’s on with the show Me and another stripper at a party for The Who Roger said, hurry up and shake your thing I looked right at him said we’re not asking you to sing You’re not working now and nor are we CHORUS Jimmy Buffet had a broken leg, met me in the kitchen Looking for a private waitress He might have had to hobble, let me put it this way Still made his middle leg advantageous Set to go meet the band again, dating a married man If you want me he said I’ll walk out on my wife now He lets me keep partying and boasts of my exploits Jimmy Buffet has always been his idol CHORUS
8.
We're Just Here to Root Your Sister 03:51
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Play in every town with a TV set Everywhere we go we’re a rubberneck Is there something you’re trying to tell us You piss at the troff down the back of our legs Wanna blow this town just one road south Car headlights block our way out They’re all waiting there to bash us For checking out their girlfriends asses CHORUS We’re just here to root your sister (got a problem with that?) Packing up at the start of the disco In the middle of the dance floor see me spinning With a chick at each end of my road case I flop my manhood out on display The show begins when we load in By now everyone knows Pretty Missies make it their business We can’t help if we’re irresistible CHORUS Play in every town with a TV set Everywhere we go we’re a rubberneck Is there something you’re trying to tell us You piss at the troff down the back of our legs Venue neglects to settle debts Try tell me the promoter’s dead Best you can do for an excuse Did the money die with him too?
9.
King Dick the Alpha Male 03:27
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The chicks are all over him Nobody can work out why He doesn’t seem to know himself But he knows it feels alright With the magnetism of an animal I have been king of the bar He’s on my turf I gotta know mate Who do you think you are CH King Dick the Alpha Male x3 Every dog has his day He used to be a puppy dog Hanging round like a smell Check him out the little prick He can stand up for himself Like I really give a fuck He can bark and bite no doubt There is nothing to his tricks But there is something about CHORUS You might call me old dog Take a trick and take a joke Do not slap me on the back Til you can prove you’re a good bloke I will if you do first Or are you above the crowd Everyone’s sick of the sight of mine So come on and flop it out CHORUS
10.
Your Length of Love 03:48
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Before we wrote our letters to the band we learnt rhyming slang We’re Barclay Bankers, specialised wankers, deposit you in our bank Assignment for Art class, make a plaster cast, locate some solid matter Hampton Wick is a rock hard dick makes a tangible transaction CHORUS 1 It’s/your/moment in the spotlight At the climax of your fame I can mould/your length of love Before it is too late Went to the hotel, the singer was tickled, invited into his bed The road to getting laid is plaster paved, my reputation soon spread Hendrix got a blowjob, prepared the mould, still had a lot to learn Forget to lube him, got stuck in his pubics, the worm has turned CHORUS 1 Jello Biafra, Too Drunk to Fuck, Connelley’s Revolting Cock Richard Lloyd, Matthew Sweet in a single feat, Eric Burdon broke the mold David Yow, Jesus Lizard, whose blood and whose urine? Wayne Kramer barely penetrated, Rocket Reducer Zappa’s manager took my collection, wouldn’t give it back Can’t keep an erection, a hard on forever, gonna have to give me some slack Lawyers won my case, waived the fee, happy for the exposure In the stand with my dicks, court room exhibits, see the legend grow CHORUS 1 CHORUS 2 I can mould your length of love Try to make it last Give the public a souvenir You still got the chance

about

Rock n roll has the potential to be accessible as a form of entertainment, self-expression and liberation for the marginalised: first nations people, women, people from all cultures and geographies, the mentally ill, homeless, lbgtiq+. After all it was conceived in the U.S. from the marriage of the music of poor white Southerners and African Americans.

This album explores what happened when it became the domain of affluent white cis males and looks at the issues from the point of view of Roadies, so-called Groupies and the Musicians themselves.

This album was recorded on the stolen lands of the Jugera and Turrbul people. Sovereignty was never ceded. Artwork by Michael McConaghy. Recorded and mixed by Cam Smith at Incremental Records, Coorparoo, Qld. 2020/2021

credits

released October 2, 2021

The Band: Drums - Laurie La; Bass - Brian Cassidy; Guitar - Devin Starasts; Guitar and Vocals - Tom Smith and Simia Seeker; Guest Harmonies: Elise Clark
Vocals - Tom Smith 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9; Simia Seeker 2, 4, 6, 7; Cockerella Houndstooth 10

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The Songs of Tom Smith Brisbane, Australia

The Songs of Tom Smith is a recording and performance project created by Tom in 2012. It has a large pool of musicians across Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide.

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